A bunch of new photos 'n' stuff

Most of the details of my last three weeks can be found on my brother's vastly inferior blog. Go there if you must... at your own risk of losing brain cells! I'll mostly just try to give you the story from my intellectually superior vantage point.

First our trip to Minnesota. Dad did most of the driving of the new minivan, so mommy and I just hung out in the back seat:

And you say these seats just fold down and stow away in the floor? Sweet!

The worst part of the trip was watching mom scarf down on delicious food while I was stuck with crappy formula. This patent unfairness will become a theme.

I want them smothered, covered and chunked, dammit!

So I averted my eyes from the delectable greasiness and instead focused on the baby at the table next door...

There's something familiar about the back of that head...

The wedding was fun for the most part:

Slow down, lady. It's getting blurry in here.

But once again, I was denied what I really wanted:

Can't... quite... reach...

Eventually, it got late and I passed out. Whereupon I had a great dream involving Dr. McDreamy and some sweet ear nibbling. Wonder what that was about...

Oh DOCTOR! Behave!

The rest of the time was spent in various states of relaxation:

I'm not yet old enough to swim or tan, so I just had to sit there and look good.

Daddy's graduation was a bit overwhelming, so I mostly stayed out of it:

McDreamy, do you mind doing the ear-nibbling thing again?

I did wake up long enough to pose for a picture:

Wait, and you say I have to live in the same city as a majority of these people???

I have to admit that I was not a huge fan of the garage sale two weekends ago:

Perhaps this was accidental, but it was still very suspicious.

In the more general department, I've been getting some serious neck workouts in the past few weeks:

This photo doesn't quite do it justice. I can now lift my head at least another two more inches.

In more good news, I'm also engaging in a lot less projectile vomiting than before, and Daddy is thinking of rescinding my nickname of "Linda Blair." On the downside, my belches have become somewhat less earth-shattering. Which sucks, because that was my primary marketable talent at this point.

I should also note that I no longer trust the world after getting jammed with a couple of needles a few weeks back. Sorry, no pictures to memorialize my pain. Daddy apparently wanted to take some, but mommy shamed him out of it. Bottom line-- without the evidence, I have very little to go on in my upcoming tort case. Since I can't yet testify, those photos were all I had!

Lastly, the rumors are true: apparently we're packing up and moving to some new place, before I even learned where I was living now. I've been told that I need to be a UVA basketball fan in perpetuity, but that otherwise I am now "from" some place called Philadelphia.

That's all. More soon!
Love,
Ev (not "Evvy," because mommy thinks people will think it looks like Ewy, and I will get made fun of by vicious girlfriends for the rest of my life)

Sorry again about the time lapse between posts. Daddy's been up in Philadelphia, either studying a bar (candy? gold? pull-up?) or going to a bar. Whatever. Bottom line: he hasn't been around, so he's not able to maintain my burgeoning stuffed animal collection while I free up some time to write. Let's cut to the chase: two big things went down in the last three weeks, with lots of pictures to share.

First, our minivan took its maiden voyage out to Minnesota. Unlike the Titanic, the Green Machine (as it has been christened) made it back in one piece, without hitting any icebergs. Our primary purpose was to go to a wedding:

Get me out of these snappy clothes, dammit!


It was much more fun shaking booty on the dance floor all night. They should skip the damn ceremony.

Naturally, we spent most of the rest of our time hanging out by the pool. Despite the fact that I had been in swimming pools hundreds of times before in my life, and had in fact been in this swimming pool half of those times, I decided for the first few days that I was too scared to go in. So I contented myself with such activities as...

Hanging out with other kids, comparing the size of our Cheez Doodles (it's never too early to start!)


Doing my best dad impersonation... (Holy s#!t, he's blind. Can you imagine if someone ripped off his glasses when he was driving??? He'd be screwed!!!)

Our trip coincided with Mother's Day. I was under strict orders to make sure daddy didn't do what he did LAST YEAR (I'll give you a hint: it's the same answer as what our president is doing about global warming). So I orchestrated a new family mother's day tradition: elaborate fruit sculptures. The inaugural project: a watermelon minivan, with fruit family inside it.

OK dad, you put the blueberry arms on the pear like this...


Mission accomplished. That's Evvy the Apricot in the middle seat. If you look closely, you might see the mango car carrier.


Mission double accomplished. Mommy loved it! (Though Evvy fell asleep looking at it. I'll have to tell Daddy to try harder next year.

The highlight of the trip was when Sydney came down to visit. At first I was content to just enhance her swimming experience...

But I was finally coaxed into the pool. At which point I remembered, hey, I like swimming! Duhhhh...


It bears mentioning that Sydney, although not an official member of my immediate family, fits in perfectly. As you can see, we get very good cell phone reception as a result:


Next big event was daddy's graduation. Family was out in force:

Me and the boyz.

Me and the sis.

I basically became the youngest graduate in UVA Law history that day when I received my rolled-up-paper telescope with the rest of the people in black robes. But before I could do that, I listened attentively to the inspiring graduation speaker, What's-Her-Name, tell us to, y'know, do it up:

Hey lady at the podium! Where's my dumb hat?

And then it was my time to shine. It's best to give you the freeze frame effect:

The approach...

The awkward handshake attempt...

Handoff attempt #1: Not For Daddy.

Handoff Attempt #2: Yep, That's For Me.

Telescope secure.

And success! The handoff is complete!

And no blog post would be complete without the Philadelphia Chicken, which made a surprise appearance at the law school pre-graduation reception:


Another big event was the pre-Philly-move garage sale we had last weekend:

Mommy's selling this awesome rug??? But it's perfect for standing on!

I had a hard time parting with any of my precious precious toys, though I did end up purchasing some new (old) toys from our neighbors who were collaborating on the sale.

And lastly, some sad news to report: I had my very last day of Molly Michie preschool last Friday. Here I am saying goodbye to my teacher:

More than anything, I'm really going to miss my friends. They've taught me about life, love, sharing, and (most importantly), potty talk. Here's a conversation I had with mommy as she picked me up from a play date at my friend Nate's house:
Me: We had a chicken diaper sandwich and a poopy diaper sandwich and a poop sandwich!
Mommy (thinking she's all down with my peeps): What about a fart sandwich?
Me: Mommy, you can't have a fart sandwich. A fart is just a sound that comes out of your butt. You would just have two pieces of bread.

On that note, I'll see y'all in Philly! (Wait, I guess I'll see youse guys in Philly. Sorry... it's going to take some getting used to...)

Sorry again about the time lapse between posts. Daddy's been up in Philadelphia, either studying a bar (candy? gold? pull-up?) or going to a bar. Whatever. Bottom line: he hasn't been around, so he's not able to maintain my burgeoning stuffed animal collection while I free up some time to write. Let's cut to the chase: two big things went down in the last three weeks, with lots of pictures to share.

First, our minivan took its maiden voyage out to Minnesota. Unlike the Titanic, the Green Machine (as it has been christened) made it back in one piece, without hitting any icebergs. Our primary purpose was to go to a wedding:

Get me out of these snappy clothes, dammit!


It was much more fun shaking booty on the dance floor all night. They should skip the damn ceremony.

Naturally, we spent most of the rest of our time hanging out by the pool. Despite the fact that I had been in swimming pools hundreds of times before in my life, and had in fact been in this swimming pool half of those times, I decided for the first few days that I was too scared to go in. So I contented myself with such activities as...

Hanging out with other kids, comparing the size of our Cheez Doodles (it's never too early to start!)


Doing my best dad impersonation... (Holy s#!t, he's blind. Can you imagine if someone ripped off his glasses when he was driving??? He'd be screwed!!!)

Our trip coincided with Mother's Day. I was under strict orders to make sure daddy didn't do what he did LAST YEAR (I'll give you a hint: it's the same answer as what our president is doing about global warming). So I orchestrated a new family mother's day tradition: elaborate fruit sculptures. The inaugural project: a watermelon minivan, with fruit family inside it.

OK dad, you put the blueberry arms on the pear like this...


Mission accomplished. That's Evvy the Apricot in the middle seat. If you look closely, you might see the mango car carrier.


Mission double accomplished. Mommy loved it! (Though Evvy fell asleep looking at it. I'll have to tell Daddy to try harder next year.

The highlight of the trip was when Sydney came down to visit. At first I was content to just enhance her swimming experience...

But I was finally coaxed into the pool. At which point I remembered, hey, I like swimming! Duhhhh...


It bears mentioning that Sydney, although not an official member of my immediate family, fits in perfectly. As you can see, we get very good cell phone reception as a result:


Next big event was daddy's graduation. Family was out in force:

Me and the boyz.

Me and the sis.

I basically became the youngest graduate in UVA Law history that day when I received my rolled-up-paper telescope with the rest of the people in black robes. But before I could do that, I listened attentively to the inspiring graduation speaker, What's-Her-Name, tell us to, y'know, do it up:

Hey lady at the podium! Where's my dumb hat?

And then it was my time to shine. It's best to give you the freeze frame effect:

The approach...

The awkward handshake attempt...

Handoff attempt #1: Not For Daddy.

Handoff Attempt #2: Yep, That's For Me.

Telescope secure.

And success! The handoff is complete!

And no blog post would be complete without the Philadelphia Chicken, which made a surprise appearance at the law school pre-graduation reception:


Another big event was the pre-Philly-move garage sale we had last weekend:

Mommy's selling this awesome rug??? But it's perfect for standing on!

I had a hard time parting with any of my precious precious toys, though I did end up purchasing some new (old) toys from our neighbors who were collaborating on the sale.

And lastly, some sad news to report: I had my very last day of Molly Michie preschool last Friday. Here I am saying goodbye to my teacher:

More than anything, I'm really going to miss my friends. They've taught me about life, love, sharing, and (most importantly), potty talk. Here's a conversation I had with mommy as she picked me up from a play date at my friend Nate's house:
Me: We had a chicken diaper sandwich and a poopy diaper sandwich and a poop sandwich!
Mommy (thinking she's all down with my peeps): What about a fart sandwich?
Me: Mommy, you can't have a fart sandwich. A fart is just a sound that comes out of your butt. You would just have two pieces of bread.

On that note, I'll see y'all in Philly! (Wait, I guess I'll see youse guys in Philly. Sorry... it's going to take some getting used to...)